Often in time, we have the feeling of not being able to catch up on anything, finish high school, go to college, get a master’s degree, if you’re “ambitious” get a PhD, get married, buy a house, have children, etc. Sometimes culture convinces us that it is a race or competition and we measure ourselves up against social norms, but such self-assessment does nothing but rob our joy and our ability to be present.
I see a very common trend in these thoughts, and the main reason could be comparison. Of course, society plays a role here, but the way we feel is because most of the time we are the only ones who compare ourselves to others, that makes us our own worst enemy. Maybe I’m wrong about this and maybe there are better explanations but I feel that if self-improvement is what I am looking for, then I need to compare only with myself, only with where and who I was; yesterday, last year.
Another reason we can feel behind is the lack of self-love. We are not okay with who we are and where we are at a certain point in life. And the solution or answer should not be to take the idea of “oh well, it could always be worse” because we do not need to settle, we need to accept who we are; we will only begin to grow and heal when we accept our flaws, both the ones we can fix and the ones we cannot, and learn to live with them. Let’s be honest with ourselves and do not care so much about other people. How and who we are is enough.
Finally, we are using the wrong measuring stick to stay “ahead”, we should measure only with ourselves, and maybe there is not measuring stick at all, because life is not a race, we need to remind ourselves that we are not our achievements or defeats, we are our experiences and stories, because it is not about getting there, we are already there.